You know when you catch yourself in the middle of the day and wonder if you’re actually becoming the person you’ve always dreamed of? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. It’s funny how we can feel stuck and then—boom—we realize we’re not where we used to be. We’re growing, even when it feels like we’re standing still. And trust me, you’re doing better than you think. Sometimes, becoming the person you want to be doesn’t require a grand gesture. It’s in the quiet moments, the little decisions we make, the shifts in how we see ourselves.

So, I want to talk about that—about the journey, the awkward in-between, and the magic of just showing up for yourself. And I know that is not that easy facing all these thoughts and let’s be real—we all kinda try to avoid the heavy stuff for as long as possible. Adulting? Big responsibilities? Thinking about the future? Yeah… we’d rather not. But here’s the thing: the sooner you start gently leaning into those thoughts, the more ready you’ll feel when life throws something your way.

In these new post you’ll find all those reflections about being us, our true selves. This will be a different kind of post—a mix between a guide and a personal essay, and, if you’re curious, keep reading ;)

Let’s jump right into it!

The messy magic of becoming

There’s this weird, beautiful phase in life where you’re no longer who you used to be, but not quite the version of yourself you want to become. It’s uncomfortable. It’s awkward. Sometimes it feels like nothing is happening, and yet everything is. When I was little, I genuinely thought that growing up would mean automatically figuring everything out. I assumed that once I finished high school, I’d magically know who I was, what I loved, and exactly what path to follow. Spoiler alert: that didn’t happen. And honestly? It rarely does. Most of us spend our twenties spiraling a little, wondering who we are and who we’re supposed to become. I mean, at 12 I was convinced I wanted to be an astrophysicist. A year later? A novelist. And now? I still don’t fully know what my “thing” is—and that’s okay. I’m learning that not having it all figured out doesn’t mean you’re lost. It just means you’re still unfolding.

Growth isn’t linear. It’s chaotic, sometimes painful, and often so subtle you barely notice it. But it’s there. It’s in the way you respond to things you used to spiral over. It’s in the boundaries you’ve started to set. The truth is, becoming who you’re meant to be doesn’t mean transforming into someone new—it means coming home to yourself. That version of you has always been there. You’re just learning how to hear her voice through the noise.

Here are a few things I’ve learned (and keep re-learning) about becoming and embracing my inner self:

1. Get comfortable with discomfort.
   Change doesn’t come wrapped in pretty packaging. It’s usually messy and confusing. But that discomfort? It’s a sign you’re growing. Sit with it. Let it teach you something. Try writing down all the things and situations that make you feel uncomfortable, and then take a moment to find a small solution for each one.

2. Let go of who you think you "should" be.
   So many of us carry this invisible checklist—by 25 I should have this, by 30 I should be that (I’m the first one to do it ups). But becoming you isn’t about meeting expectations. It’s about alignment. What actually feels right for you? What makes you feel good?

3. Romanticize your becoming.
   Light a candle before journaling. Take yourself on solo coffee dates. Celebrate your tiny wins. This isn’t just the “in-between”—this is your story. Make it beautiful in your own way.

4. Listen to your feelings, not your feed.
   We spend so much time scrolling and absorbing what we think we should be doing, looking like, or achieving. But your real self? She doesn’t live on a Pinterest board. Pay attention to what lights you up when no one’s watching. Do these small actions just for yourself.

5. It’s okay to change your mind.
   Seriously. The things you once dreamed of might not fit anymore—and that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re evolving. Give yourself permission to pivot, to outgrow, to dream up new things without guilt.

Alright, let me share a few movies and books that might just help you feel a little less alone while you're growing, changing, and becoming your favorite version of yourself.

For when you need a little coming-of-age inspiration…

Sometimes we need to see stories of change and growth to remember we’re not alone. These are some of my favorite coming-of-age films that feel like a warm hug, a gentle push, and a mirror all at once:

• Lady Bird (2017): Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson’s messy, sweet, frustrating journey into adulthood is the epitome of learning to love yourself—flaws and all.

  Watch it for:

  • That tender mother-daughter dynamic we all relate to;

  • The quiet magic of growing up in a small town;

  • The moment you realize you’re becoming your own person.

• The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012): Sensitive, awkward, and full of heart—this film captures what it’s like to feel deeply, love fiercely, and try to find your place in the world.

  Watch it for:

  • That one line: “We accept the love we think we deserve”;

  • The friendships that save you;

  • Feeling seen when you didn’t even know you needed to be.

• Frances Ha (2012): A black-and-white indie gem about being in your 20s and having no clue what you’re doing—but dancing through it anyway.

  Watch it for:

  • The realism of friendships shifting with time;

  • That bittersweet space between girlhood and adulthood;

  • The unspoken courage of starting over, again and again.

And for the book lovers

• Everything I Know About Love (by Dolly Alderton): An honest, messy memoir that feels like reading your own diary, only wittier.
  Why you’ll love it:

  • It’s about heartbreak, friendships, and becoming

  • Dolly’s writing feels like your funniest best friend giving life advice

  • It makes you feel okay with not having it all figured out

• The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (by Taylor Jenkins Reid): Yes, it’s all over BookTok, but for good reason. Beneath the Hollywood glamour, it’s about identity, reinvention, and finally telling your truth.
  Why you’ll love it:

  • Evelyn is the definition of taking control of your own narrative

  • It’s gripping, glamorous, and emotional all in one

  • It reminds you that becoming yourself is never too late

• Normal People (by Sally Rooney): A book that understands what it’s like to feel deeply and still not know how to express it. Marianne and Connell’s journey is a quiet masterpiece of growing, hurting, and healing.
  Why you’ll love it:

  • It captures emotional complexity like nothing else

  • You’ll underline every other sentence

  • It shows how people shape us, even if they don’t stay forever

You’re not behind. You’re not too late. You’re not the only one feeling like you're floating between versions of yourself. Becoming is messy. But it’s also beautiful. It means you’re alive. It means you’re trying. And that alone is something to be proud of.

I really hope this little post made you feel a bit less alone while navigating all the growing and changing. Figuring yourself out isn’t easy, but you’re doing better than you think. And hey—if you have a favorite coming-of-age movie or book, drop it in the comments! I’m always so curious to hear what resonates with you. See you next week with a new post!!